aggal73

I am up to the 230 mark and I have no one to blame but myself.  This is over.  I am done with making excuses.  This is the year of the attitude. I recently had it posed to me that someone had a “crush” on me at work.  He is an older guy, I wanna say about 15 years my senior (I would have to check records to verify), if not more.  He is a nice enough guy but I am just not attracted to him.  He came up to the Christmas open house to visit me among others even though he was off and immediately all of my office mates came with comments of you need to hook up with him over the holidays and he makes six figures you should go for it….dont get me wrong that is a great quality in a man…like I said just not attracted in that way and it got me to thinking, is it just because I am chunky that my coworkers think I should settle to date anyone they see showing an interest in me.  I do have “crushes” on other guys at work but I don’t go on babbling about it because I don’t feel like that is the place and quite honestly I dont want to be made a fool of.  The other single my age girl in the office has dated some of the hotter guys in the office, would they honestly suggest to her that she date this middle aged IT guy?  No, I don’t think so and I think it is because of my WEIGHT…probably just perception on my part.  So anyway, I got to thinking about it, I need an attitude adjustment.  I need to walk the walk, act the act and talk the talk.  With the right attitude the pounds will come off and I will find the right person no matter what weight I am.

I had an absolute blast at my office christmas party.  Did not do the best food wise.   This one is at texas road house (the one i posted on my last blog was supposed to be today at lunched, but location changes (yay) and has been ultimately cancelled.)….I made some good choices and some bad.  I had the roasted chicken instead of steak…but I did have a side of the steak fries.  You get two sides, I have been known to double the fries, but this time I got one fries and one veggies…so half good anyway.  I was still miserable tho….I am allowing that to be my one holiday exception I guess.  It was the party I was most looking forward to.  The family stuff is the same every year…nothing new or exciting there.  I hope everyone is having a good week and as always thanks for your support.

I am having a rough time of digesting this….We are going to lunch with my executive director and I was nervous about that anyway, because I have had limited contact with the man….so….first it was Cheesecake Factory….okay not so good, but I can deal with it…then it got changed to something “Austin”y down town…ok I can still deal with that.  Well, today I heard it was Ventana which is the restaurant of the culinary school and I pulled their menu off the web so I could make my choices and plan (one of my goals for the week)….and I am sorry that is just nasty.  There is not one thing there I would eat….I am a picky eater but sometimes I can adjust….I am thinking of calling in sick….I don’t want to go to the restaurant with my coworkers and the executive directors and have them examine my eating habits…

this was inspired by shannas character….i thought i need a powerful character with a powerful message.  My brother was born in 1978 and was raised in the 80s and there was a cartoon out then, call He-Man…OK, so my character obviously couldn’t be a guy so I picked his sister from the sister series “She-ra”….when they change from their respective “normal” to superselves, they say “By the power of Greyskull, I HAVE THE POWER”…It is the second part that stuck in my head….I have the power, to do what I need to do to make this happen.  I have the power to eat good things or bad, exercise or not….etc and so forth…

 Thanks Shanna….

Well, my birthday was yesterday…the big 3-4….i spent most of it sick and in and out of drs office’s.  It has brought me to the serioius realization that I really have to get serious.  I think it is only stress related stuff, but it still gave me a serious scare.  It started Thursday night, I had serious pain in my right abdomen…Normally this would be an easy diagnosis, gall bladder…but…..mine has already been removed….so after my doc examined me….he said could be appendicitis or gall stones (they can still be made after removal)….so I went for an emergency CT scan and it came back negative, and I took a relaxation drug last night and seemed to be much better this morning although a little nauseous….so….the bottom line.  I need to quit getting so stressed out and eat MUCH better to avoid these fun little episodes.  My goal is to be to goal by my 35th birthday….I want to lose 55-60 pounds by then….so mark my words I am going to do it.  I hope everyone is having a good weekend.

It really is you know.  Last year I was bummed because I worked with a bunch of men and we did NOTHING to celebrate the holidays and this year is a complete 180….Since moving to Human Resources…there will be major cake issues on Thursday for my birthday celebration. (I am a pearl harbor baby….okay, not the year, but the date :))….Then in celebration for christmas there will be a luncheon with the Executive Director, another luncheon with our Assistant Director, another function at my bosses house and the companys open house.  I may just go into overload.  Why do these people think I need to eat!!!!….I will make it through….I have before….

My eye is tolerable but not perfect….cant wait to have the energy to exercise again….probably tonight or tomorrow.  I return to work tomorrow.  I couldn’t sleep at all last night.  It was the worst.

I hope all of my buddies are having an awesome day.  I did not catch up on everyones blog (I just went back about two pages)  Sorry